This post is absolute poetry. It took my breath away at the honesty of parenting, how the false dichotomy stifles us and our families, but also at how awe-inspiring this whole journey is. Thank you so much for sharing such beautiful words of wisdom.
Feb 26·edited Feb 26Liked by Kathryn Barbash, PsyD
This post is wonderful!! Before becoming a parent, I sort of had this idea that, yes parenting is really hard, but there is so much joy and that makes it worth it. In my head, it was like the joy would balance out the hard somehow, and ultimately there would be more joy than struggle or something.
But in actuality, what is weird to me is how it can be so wondrous and also awful ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Like, I am sitting there thinking about how incredible and brilliant and wondrous and creative my toddler is, while at the same time my mind is like "I am so bored pretending to eat play-doh cupcakes that my brain actually hurts and I would give anything in the world to be alone for an hour." I love this idea of somehow we are surviving and thriving, experiencing wonder and experiencing overwhelm, all together -- not in a way that anything balances or cancels each other out, instead they just co-exist and ebb and flow.
Also, you've been to Plum Village!!! That is so cool! I haven't visited any of Thay's monasteries yet, but when my daughter is a little bit older I really want to take her to the family retreat at Deer Park.
Oh my goodness, yes! Today I was at a park with my toddler and the repetitive ice cream shop game we were playing--I really just wanted to sit on a bench and read or listen to a podcast.
And sadly, I have never gotten to Plum Village myself, my mother was a follower of Thay and my parents made their way there on a European vacation. My parents lived in San Diego so my mom went regularly to Deer Park. I have yet to go, but some day!
This post is absolute poetry. It took my breath away at the honesty of parenting, how the false dichotomy stifles us and our families, but also at how awe-inspiring this whole journey is. Thank you so much for sharing such beautiful words of wisdom.
Thank you so much Sri. I had been circling around this one for awhile, because it was hard to capture it in words. I am so glad it landed with you.
It really did! It filled me with a lot of peace. ❤️
Sri, that has made my day. Thank you.
Loved this post and all the great articles you referenced at the end!
Thank you so much Heather!
This post is wonderful!! Before becoming a parent, I sort of had this idea that, yes parenting is really hard, but there is so much joy and that makes it worth it. In my head, it was like the joy would balance out the hard somehow, and ultimately there would be more joy than struggle or something.
But in actuality, what is weird to me is how it can be so wondrous and also awful ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Like, I am sitting there thinking about how incredible and brilliant and wondrous and creative my toddler is, while at the same time my mind is like "I am so bored pretending to eat play-doh cupcakes that my brain actually hurts and I would give anything in the world to be alone for an hour." I love this idea of somehow we are surviving and thriving, experiencing wonder and experiencing overwhelm, all together -- not in a way that anything balances or cancels each other out, instead they just co-exist and ebb and flow.
Also, you've been to Plum Village!!! That is so cool! I haven't visited any of Thay's monasteries yet, but when my daughter is a little bit older I really want to take her to the family retreat at Deer Park.
Oh my goodness, yes! Today I was at a park with my toddler and the repetitive ice cream shop game we were playing--I really just wanted to sit on a bench and read or listen to a podcast.
And sadly, I have never gotten to Plum Village myself, my mother was a follower of Thay and my parents made their way there on a European vacation. My parents lived in San Diego so my mom went regularly to Deer Park. I have yet to go, but some day!
I really liked this post from The Double Shift about how to renegotiate family mealtime responsibilities: https://thedoubleshift.substack.com/p/shaking-up-the-mental-load-of-feeding?utm_source=profile&utm_medium=reader2
Thanks for the rec, I have heard good things about The Double Shift, I love adding more reads to check out.
She just moved her newsletter over to Substack and is hoping to plug into the strong reader and writer community here.