I actually slept “late” for me over the weekend and my 4 year old daughter and I both woke up after 7:30 Saturday and Sunday. On Saturday we had nowhere to be, and it was nice to sleep a little longer. Yesterday my husband was volunteering so we had to be at church at 8:30, so that was more difficult. This morning I was back to being up early, and my husband will be up early the next couple of days to go to work from 6 am-6 pm. I work from 9 am-6 pm, so theoretically I could get ready as long as I am up by like 7:20, but usually I am up between 5:30-6:30 so I can have some time where I read Substack or watch tv before my daughter wakes up. I have enjoyed watching The Bachelor, Abbott Elementary, and Not Dead Yet again the last couple of weeks. I don’t drink coffee at all in the morning, although I do enjoy treating myself with Starbucks every now and then on my lunch break.
Feb 27·edited Feb 27Liked by Kathryn Barbash, PsyD
You had me at coffee and I think we are going to be friends. Thank you for this beautiful piece. I am not a morning person and every morning getting myself and three kids up and at 'em makes me feel like I am perpetually losing the game. And so I throw all the things at it to try and "fix" the morning so I don't feel like it's an s-show (my son has an ileostomy so sometimes IT IS a literal s-show!). Your thoughtfulness in this piece is going to help give me permission to embrace it and put down the fix. But not the coffee. It's my ritual to have it before I get the kiddos up but these days the timing is based on the decibel level of the baby! :)
Crazy that we both wrote about mornings this week! I've found the smaller and more specific I get about a change or a routine, the more pleasure I get from it, and the more likely I am to DO it... For some reason, "Do Morning Journaling" doesn't light up my brain as much as, "Write for 4 minutes about your Word of the Day!"
I've taught habit change/routine starting for years and the first 4 components of designing a routine are such important ones that so many people bypass when trying to start a new routine or a new habit. and i love that you remind folks to be compassionate towards themselves for trying something new. again, we tend to be so hard on ourselves when we struggle or "fail." but trying out something new can be such a big deal. and what's important when we do struggle/fail is to evaluate. ask why something didn't work. consider what might work better. adjust as needed. rather than just beat ourselves up when something doesn't work.
Thank you, Kathryn, for another great post. The 7-component list is fantastic, and I love that it starts with "Why?". I often feel the pressure to adopt practices that benefit others, but sometimes they don't align well with me and my family.
You bring together so many amazing voices here — thank you for the introductions to so many great writers!
For months I tried to wake up at 5am to work out before my daughter woke up…and I was exhausted, miserable, and constantly failing at it. I finally accepted that my circadian rhythm seems locked in to a 10:30pm-6:30am sleep session, and, despite the guilt over not being “productive enough,” I am much better rested.
Thank you for helping me feel a little less guilty about staying in bed as long as I can, until my daughter wakes up.
Great in-depth explanation on the need for routine. I use our dogs as my reason for walking at the crack of dawn. I get fresh air and exercise as they get exercise and mental stimulation. It set us all up for a better day.
I love the way you explain how important routines are to big people, just like they are to our little people/children. Humans love their routines.
I actually slept “late” for me over the weekend and my 4 year old daughter and I both woke up after 7:30 Saturday and Sunday. On Saturday we had nowhere to be, and it was nice to sleep a little longer. Yesterday my husband was volunteering so we had to be at church at 8:30, so that was more difficult. This morning I was back to being up early, and my husband will be up early the next couple of days to go to work from 6 am-6 pm. I work from 9 am-6 pm, so theoretically I could get ready as long as I am up by like 7:20, but usually I am up between 5:30-6:30 so I can have some time where I read Substack or watch tv before my daughter wakes up. I have enjoyed watching The Bachelor, Abbott Elementary, and Not Dead Yet again the last couple of weeks. I don’t drink coffee at all in the morning, although I do enjoy treating myself with Starbucks every now and then on my lunch break.
You had me at coffee and I think we are going to be friends. Thank you for this beautiful piece. I am not a morning person and every morning getting myself and three kids up and at 'em makes me feel like I am perpetually losing the game. And so I throw all the things at it to try and "fix" the morning so I don't feel like it's an s-show (my son has an ileostomy so sometimes IT IS a literal s-show!). Your thoughtfulness in this piece is going to help give me permission to embrace it and put down the fix. But not the coffee. It's my ritual to have it before I get the kiddos up but these days the timing is based on the decibel level of the baby! :)
Crazy that we both wrote about mornings this week! I've found the smaller and more specific I get about a change or a routine, the more pleasure I get from it, and the more likely I am to DO it... For some reason, "Do Morning Journaling" doesn't light up my brain as much as, "Write for 4 minutes about your Word of the Day!"
I've taught habit change/routine starting for years and the first 4 components of designing a routine are such important ones that so many people bypass when trying to start a new routine or a new habit. and i love that you remind folks to be compassionate towards themselves for trying something new. again, we tend to be so hard on ourselves when we struggle or "fail." but trying out something new can be such a big deal. and what's important when we do struggle/fail is to evaluate. ask why something didn't work. consider what might work better. adjust as needed. rather than just beat ourselves up when something doesn't work.
Thank you, Kathryn, for another great post. The 7-component list is fantastic, and I love that it starts with "Why?". I often feel the pressure to adopt practices that benefit others, but sometimes they don't align well with me and my family.
You bring together so many amazing voices here — thank you for the introductions to so many great writers!
For months I tried to wake up at 5am to work out before my daughter woke up…and I was exhausted, miserable, and constantly failing at it. I finally accepted that my circadian rhythm seems locked in to a 10:30pm-6:30am sleep session, and, despite the guilt over not being “productive enough,” I am much better rested.
Thank you for helping me feel a little less guilty about staying in bed as long as I can, until my daughter wakes up.
Great in-depth explanation on the need for routine. I use our dogs as my reason for walking at the crack of dawn. I get fresh air and exercise as they get exercise and mental stimulation. It set us all up for a better day.