Hiking with Children And Other Slow Moves
It's Thursday newsletter time: Slow walking in woods with kids, movement of a mindful nature and some mindfulness recommendations
Let’s call it hiking but it’s really walking slowly with people
Let’s clarify first how loosely the word hiking applies here for those diehard hikers out there. Hiking and hiking with young children are two separate activities. According to the wisdom of Wikipedia, hiking is a long vigorous walk, usually on trails or footpaths, in the countryside. Hiking with young children is a series of steps with a pause, another series of steps, pause and so on in an outdoor area. It is very much an exercise in patience. It also requires frequent cheerleading for fellow travelers, retrieval from mud puddles and a never-ending supply of snacks. For us, these snacks include what we call “energy boosts” which are always some type of sweet and chewy item.
Recently I went on a “hike” with my toddler and preschooler (my older kids could not be separated from the couch that day). This family activity can elicit a whole colorful rainbow of emotions, for both children and adults. On this recent excursion, the young pair developed a game where they became “stuck” in the mud about every 10 inches and then had to be “towed” out by me. After 10+ rounds of this game, I started to feel the push to get on with it. On this particular day, we had nowhere to be, so there was no real reason to move quickly but my adult agenda snuck in. I noticed my intolerance of the moment and the need to get somewhere (not sure where exactly). It is so deeply embedded within adults, the need to be doing. The kids are all about the being. And they are so annoyingly good at it. So I noticed my reflex to rush them. I respected my fellow travelers and kept my prompts to “hurry up” to myself. And I recognized that I was bored but that was okay. Sometimes hikes (or many things of life) are slow and boring. That has it’s own goodness too.
Looking to do some slow walking in wooded areas?
Maybe this is obvious but good clothes and shoes that are appropriate to the weather are a must.
Any preferred snack and water, never go without a snack.
Small backpacks or waist bags for the kids. Let your kids manage the snacks, so you don’t have to stop every 10 feet to give someone a pretzel.
Assess your expectations for speed and distance and then reduce them. This is not a workout, you are not there to meet a step or time goal. They move slowly and ultimately someone will get a rock in their shoe or a wet sock.
Hold your destination lightly. It’s lovely to make it to a waterfall but be okay knowing you may need to abandon your original plan (see above rock in shoe or wet sock).
In Case You Missed It…
Check out Monday’s post about mindfulness and real life parenting. Join us in the comments, it has been really wonderful to hear how people are connecting with this piece:
Your Weekly Mud Boot
The weekly offering of a practice or exercise to support you in your parenthood. Why Mud Boot? Mud boots can certainly make standing in the mud a little easier…
I have the official disclaimer at the bottom of the page but remember these are for educational purposes only and do not qualify as therapy.
Mindful Movement
Sitting meditation is not for everyone. Mindfulness paired with movement is a wonderful alternative and can be integrated into your daily life (don’t miss the make it your own section). Although the practice below is capturing mindful movement through walking, you can meet your movement needs in any way that serves your unique body.
The below exercise is adapted from a walking meditation from the Greater Good Science Center at University of California, Berkeley. This practice includes adaptation for wheelchairs. A more detailed version of this exercise can be found here. Suggested amount of time is 10 minutes (but you can do less or more)
Find a location. Find a path that allows you to move back and forth for 10–15 paces (20-40 feet)—a place that is relatively peaceful, where you won’t be disturbed or even observed (since a slow, formal walking meditation might look strange to people who are unfamiliar with it). You can practice this meditation either indoors or outside in nature. Your path doesn’t have to be very long to practice a very intentional form of movement where you’re mostly retracing your path.
Start your pace. Take 10–15 steps or wheel yourself for 20–40 feet along the path you’ve chosen, and then pause and breathe for as long as you like. When you’re ready, turn and move back in the opposite direction to the other end of the path, where you can pause and breathe again. Then, when you’re ready, turn once more and continue with your journey.
The components of each movement. This meditation involves very purposefully paying attention while very slowly doing a series of actions that you normally do automatically. Try to notice your forward movement and the smaller movements that are involved.
Focusing your attention. As you move, try to focus your attention on one or more sensations that you would normally take for granted, such as your breath coming in and out of your body; the movement of your feet, legs, and arms; the contact of your body or wheelchair with the ground or floor; your head balanced on your neck and shoulders; sounds nearby or those caused by the movement of your body; or whatever your eyes take in as they focus on the world in front of you.
What to do when your mind wanders. No matter how much you try to focus your attention on any of these sensations, your mind is bound to wander. That’s OK—it’s perfectly natural. When you notice your mind wandering, simply try again to reorient your attention toward one of those sensations.
Make it Your Own
Think of an area where you walk frequently (the route to your office, a hallway in your house, taking out the trash) and try to use that space as a cue for mindful movement, it doesn’t have to be a full mediation. Just try focusing on a part of the body like your feet, arms or your breathing.
If it is hard to focus, try using an anchor you recite in your mind along with your movements. It can be as simple as “left/right” or “in breath/out breath”.
Recommendations, resources and other tidbits
More mindfulness, some different options to explore.
One my favorite books on mindfulness is No Mud, No Lotus: The Art of Transforming Suffering by Thich Nhat Hanh. It’s short and beautifully simple.
For anyone interested in understanding the power of mindfulness meditation from a neuroscience perspective, Peak Mind: Find Your Focus, Own Your Attention, Invest in 12 Minutes a Day by Amishi Jha, PhD is an interesting read about what is going on in there and the benefits of meditation.
There are so many meditation apps now, so it can be hard to choose. I personally love the Plum Village app (which is free!) for guided meditations and you can find it here.
If anyone has been reading along for a bit, you know that self-compassion is key element of my mindfulness practice. You can check out this previous newsletter for 3 book recommendations on self-compassion:
Disclaimer: The content on Mindful Mom in the Mud posted by Dr. Kathryn Barbash, PsyD on the Instagram account (@mindfulmominthemud), Youtube Channel (@mindfulinthemud) and newsletter (mindfulinthemud.substack.com) or any other medium or social media platform (the “information”) is for educational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for medical, clinical, legal and professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Reliance on any information provided by Mindful Mom in the Mud is solely at your own risk. Always seek the advice of your licensed mental health professional or other qualified health provider.
I like these suggestions for setting expectations before going on a "hike" with kids.
"hiking is a long vigorous walk, usually on trails or footpaths, in the countryside. Hiking with young children is a series of steps with a pause, another series of steps, pause and so on in an outdoor area."
This is funny, sad, true, beautiful.
As one of my readers once said, parents often impose their sense of time on their kids. "Slow and boring" has a place for sure : )